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Teens and internet addiction

By Ann Douglas
April 5, 2009

You probably put limits on the amount of time your teenager spends talking on the phone. Ditto for the amount of time he or she spends parked in front of the television set or playing video games. But, if you're like most parents, you may be less likely to limit the amount of time your teenager spends online. After all, isn't surfing the Internet a much better use of your teenager's time than zonking out in front of yet another rerun of That ‘70s Show?

While the Internet can open up a whole world of educational opportunities for teens—the chance to research almost any topic under the sun while honing their computer skills at the same time—it can also spell trouble. Big trouble. And it's not just porn sites and online predators that are causing problems for American teens. There's an even greater problem, according to the experts: Internet addiction.

According to psychologist Kimberly S. Young, Ph.D., of the Center for Online Addiction, teen Internet addiction is becoming a growing problem. While there aren't any hard numbers to indicate just how many teenagers are becoming addicted to the Internet, Young estimates that five to ten percent of Internet surfers suffer from some degree of Internet addiction.

It's not difficult to figure out why the Internet has such tremendous appeal for teenagers. For one thing, they're members of the so-called Internet generation—the first generation to feel totally completely comfortable with computers. “Being online is like breathing to them,” Young said.

Deerfield, Illinois, mother of three Barb Cooke agrees. Her sixteen-year-old daughter Jenny sould rather spend time online than talking to her friends on the phone: “Teens today are using the phone lines less and less and instant messaging software more and more.”

Jenny Cooke agrees with her mother's take on the situation and explains why she's more inclined to spend time in the evening instant messaging six or seven friends at the same time rather than picking up the phone to call someone. “When you're online, you can be talking to more than one person and doing more than one thing at a time. “When you're talking on the phone, you have to be a lot more involved in the conversation.”

Something else that adds to the appeal of cyberspace is the fact that teenagers have the power to reinvent themselves. It doesn't matter if a teenager is quiet and introverted in real life. He or she can instantly morph into a popular, extroverted football player or cheerleader the moment he or she grabs hold of that computer mouse.

“It's all about becoming who you want to be instead of who you actually are,” says Julie Douglas, 14, of Peterborough, Ontario. “I used to spend hours at my friend's house with her while we pretended to be whoever we wanted to be in chatrooms. She would be a tall, blue-eyed blonde while I preferred to pretend to be a dark-haired, pale-skinned goth.”

Teenagers may also be seduced by the ease with which Internet friendships can be made, adds John Suler, Ph.D., professor of Psychology at Rider University in Lawrenceville, New Jersey and author of the online book The Psychology of Cyberspace. “Internet relationships can feel safer to teenagers than face-to-face relationships. Some teenagers feel that they can be more free and open in how they express themselves and may worry less about rejection since they can't see or be seen by the other person. And, what's more, the instant intimacy of online relationships can have them pouring out their heart and soul to someone who seems to be a soulmate.”

Another major draw is the fact that the Internet makes it possible to connect with large numbers of people who share the same interests—something that may or may not be possible in real life. As Henry Jenkins, co-editor of From Barbie to Mortal Kombat: Gender and Computer Games (MIT Press, 1998) notes, “In a small-town school, there may be only one goth or openly gay student. On the web, there are thousands, if not millions.”

While the Internet has a lot to offer kids who feel like social outcasts, that feeling of being connected doesn't necessarily come without a price. According to Young and Suler, Internet use can become a problem if the real world begins to pale in comparison to the fantasy world that an Internet user creates online. And because most teenagers tend to lead rich fantasy lives, they can easily get hooked on the larger-than-life dimensions of the Internet, creating a parallel universe for themselves in the online world—a world in which they're the ones calling the shots.

What makes the problem worse is the fact that Internet addiction can be almost invisible: “It's easy to assume that teenagers are ‘working' when they're sitting at the computer, when, in fact, they may not be working at all,” said Suler. “Teens can be very secretive in general, and it's not very difficult for them to disguise what they are doing online. A simple click is all it takes to replace a chat window with a window containing a paper for class. Part of an adolescent's efforts to establish his or her own identity involves that need to keep secrets about themselves from their parents. The Internet is the perfect way to do that.”

Suler isn't the only person to pick up on the fact that parents are often clueless about what their teens are up to online. A recent Canadian study involving more than 5,000 children and teenagers revealed that 70% of parents know little or nothing about their kids' online activities. The study—which was conducted by the Ottawa, Ontario, based Media Awareness Network—found that teenagers have good reason for covering their online tracks: 70% of 13 and 14 year olds admit to visiting private and adults-only chatrooms—one of the most addictive online activities, according to Young and others. And, what's more, most of these teenagers freely admitted that they were breaking family rules by visiting these chatrooms—one of the key warning signs of Internet addiction.

So what's a technologically disadvantaged parent to do to ensure that Internet addiction doesn't become a problem for his or her teen?

Be vigilant, according to the experts.

Make an effort to keep tabs on how much time your kids are spending online and what they're doing while they're surfing the Internet. Don't assume that your child is doing homework just because his geography project shows up on the screen each time you walk by. He could have chat software running in another window at the same time.

Don't automatically assume that your kids are using the Internet the same way you do. According to Young, Internet usage studies have indicated quite the opposite. While parents are more inclined to turn to the Internet as a source of news or information, kids are more inclined to be drawn in by its entertainment value—to see it as a place to relax, meet friends, and have fun.

Don't think that you can keep tabs on your teenagers' Internet habits by simply checking the browser history every once in a while. According to Joshua F. Finer, President of Software4Parents.com, a company that specializes in selling various types of Internet monitoring software, most computer savvy kids know how to hide their online activities by editing the browser history. And, even more chilling, there are entire web sites devoted to teaching kids how to ensure that their parents remain in the dark about their online activities.

Don't expect a piece of software to do your job for you. While you can purchase Internet software packages that block certain web sites or that capture keystrokes or monitor screen images on the family computer, according to Finer, it's a mistake to assume that any piece of software can replace the eye of a watchful parent. Young agrees: “Parents naively assume that if they stick some monitoring software on their computer, they've done enough, but that's simply not the case.”

It's also important to know how to spot the warning signs of an Internet addiction. According to Suler, you should at least consider the possibility that your teen may be becoming addicted to the Internet if you notice marked changes in her behavior. “Teens may have a harder time disguising their feelings than adults, so changes in mood or behavior related to the ups and downs of online relationships and activities may be more apparent.”

And if your teenager's marks suddenly take a dramatic tumble, that could be a warning sign of Internet addiction, too. According to Young, Internet addiction can cause teens to run into problems at school either because they're staying up too late chatting online with friends or ecause their Internet addiction causes them to lose interest in anything other than the online world. “You're probably not doing much homework if you're spending all your time chatting,” says Jenny Cooke.

Compulsive behaviors such as sneaking online in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping, breaking family rules in order to maintain connections with online friends, lying about or being unable to control the amount of time spent online, or becoming extremely irritable if access to the Internet is denied are other warning signs that a teen may be dealing with an Internet addiction.

If you suspect that your teenager has become addicted to the Internet, you'll want to encourage her to get seek help for her problem. Not only is she likely to become increasingly isolated from her real-world friends as her Internet dependency increases: research has shown that teenagers who spend large amounts of time online—particularly in online chatrooms—are especially vulnerable to the advances of online predators. Besides, if your teen would rather spend time online than with friends or family members, that may be an indication that something is not right in the real world.

In other words, her Internet addiction may be a symptom rather than the problem.